(this is the last in a series of Lenten Meditation on forgiveness — for background, resources, and an approach to using these meditations, please check the About the Meditations page. If you are reading/engaging with these meditations, please do let me know. Pastor David)
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Gratitude: Gratitude helps bring us to a place of acceptance that is the final stage of forgiveness. Coming to that place of forgiveness, in turn, fills us with further gratitude. An attitude of gratitude is a remembrance of blessing, of God’s grace, of God’s presence even in times when we are feeling far from blessed. Have we felt anger toward one who has hurt us? a desire to extract some repayment? or self-loathing for being in this situation in the first place? Even in the turmoil of such feelings, something may turn our thoughts to God and to gratitude; someone may be for us the incarnation of God’s loving, accepting presence.
For me, thought of God almost always brings perspective to any situation. Most often I find myself smiling at least a little. I remember, I just know in my bones, that always God has opened for me a way forward—usually straight through in honest feeling and understanding of all the hurts and failings in myself and others. And I’m grateful for that sense of assurance—again this time a way will open. That gratitude gives the balance and stability needed to risk, to begin opening the door of deep forgiveness.
Call to Mind both the sorrows and the gratitudes you feel right now. Try writing them down, maybe five or ten things that are griefs for you, and five or ten things for which you are grateful.
Imagine Jesus is with you (picture him anyway you like), or perhaps just picture a close friend sitting by you. Read out your lists. Notice how it feels to be simply heard and accepted, the pains and the joys alike.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? Are you able to keep, or reestablish touch with your peaceful, beloved center?
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment more on your own experience of forgiveness. If you feel grateful, say thank you. What further hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 134
A Song of Ascents.
1 Come, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord,
who stand by night in the house of the Lord!
2 Lift up your hands to the holy place,
and bless the Lord.
3 May the Lord, maker of heaven and earth,
bless you from Zion.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May I taste God’s goodness, rest in God’s peace, and find courage and strength in a grateful heart. Amen.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Tell Me Again
(this the fourth in a series of Lenten Meditations on forgiveness — for background, resources, and an approach to using these meditations, please check the About the Meditations page)
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Tell me again: Tell me again, help me to hear: I am loved. I am forgiven. God loves me just as I am. God’s love frees and strengthens me to love and forgive.
The business of forgiveness—giving and receiving forgiveness, to and for ourselves and others—calls for strength. Where does that strength come from? Well, training and practice of course, just like weight training builds our physical strength. But I think what we are training is not so much our own “spiritual muscle” but rather our openness to a strength beyond our own. It is the strength of God’s love for us that gives us strength for the work of forgiveness.
I know this can sound abstract and disconnected from our real lives. And if I told you it is an experience you have to have it could sound a bit woo-woo. In fact, God’s love is the most concrete and practical reality of our lives every day. It’s there in every breath we take, in the faces of family, friend, and stranger, in every free choice we make hoping for the best. How we recognize this reality in all these things is a matter of grace and a mystery. And even so, it’s something we can practice.
Call to Mind your breath; right now just notice the next four or five breaths before you go on.
Imagine all the people who have breathed this same air, and all the people who will: some molecules of each breath shared with the people around you and also with those far away in time and space. You breathe with your parents and grandparents, with grandchildren and great-nieces yet unborn, with most intimate love, with strangers, with enemies. We are all connected. This is God’s gift, God’s love in action. Perhaps when we forgive others we are always also forgiving a part of ourselves.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? Are you able to keep, or reestablish touch with your peaceful, beloved center?
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 126
A Song of Ascents.
1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
‘The Lord has done great things for them.’
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
5 May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May God open me to recognize and trust in God’s powerful love. Amen.
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Tell me again: Tell me again, help me to hear: I am loved. I am forgiven. God loves me just as I am. God’s love frees and strengthens me to love and forgive.
The business of forgiveness—giving and receiving forgiveness, to and for ourselves and others—calls for strength. Where does that strength come from? Well, training and practice of course, just like weight training builds our physical strength. But I think what we are training is not so much our own “spiritual muscle” but rather our openness to a strength beyond our own. It is the strength of God’s love for us that gives us strength for the work of forgiveness.
I know this can sound abstract and disconnected from our real lives. And if I told you it is an experience you have to have it could sound a bit woo-woo. In fact, God’s love is the most concrete and practical reality of our lives every day. It’s there in every breath we take, in the faces of family, friend, and stranger, in every free choice we make hoping for the best. How we recognize this reality in all these things is a matter of grace and a mystery. And even so, it’s something we can practice.
Call to Mind your breath; right now just notice the next four or five breaths before you go on.
Imagine all the people who have breathed this same air, and all the people who will: some molecules of each breath shared with the people around you and also with those far away in time and space. You breathe with your parents and grandparents, with grandchildren and great-nieces yet unborn, with most intimate love, with strangers, with enemies. We are all connected. This is God’s gift, God’s love in action. Perhaps when we forgive others we are always also forgiving a part of ourselves.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? Are you able to keep, or reestablish touch with your peaceful, beloved center?
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 126
A Song of Ascents.
1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
‘The Lord has done great things for them.’
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
5 May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May God open me to recognize and trust in God’s powerful love. Amen.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Setting Aside "Should"
(this is the third in a series of Lenten Meditation on forgiveness — for background, resources, and an approach to using these meditations, please check the About the Meditations page)
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Setting aside “should” One of the things that can get in the way of forgiveness is all our shoulds — working in both directions. “I should forgive him” is a far cry from “I do forgive him.” The former is a voice from outside our true self, however deeply internalized it may be. Often that external voice is connected to religion, “If I call myself a Christian I ought to be able to forgive.” The latter, I do forgive, can only come from our truest, fullest selves — from the place where we know our own weakness is recognized and accepted, where we are touched by the unconditional love of the divine. “I should forgive” doesn’t get us anywhere. “I do forgive” recognizes an arrival (at least at a waystation — the journey is a lifetime.)
And in the other direction, “She should admit how wrong she was and apologize” is another way of keeping forgiveness at arm’s length, conditioning it on something or someone outside ourselves.
Forgiveness is a process. Dwelling in thoughts about what we or anyone else should do keeps us in one place, not stepping out on the journey toward forgiveness. Forgiveness is also a practice. We need to be gentle with ourselves as we learn to forgive.
Call to Mind what it feels like to be stuck, to go over and over the same thoughts, to believe something is wrong with someone — wrong with yourself or wrong with someone else.
Imagine the stuckness is a room you are in. Go to the door, open it, and step out onto the path there. (If the door is blocked, locked, or guarded, slip out the window!) Take the first few steps along the path.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? If this exercise helped you, bask in it just a moment more. If not, let it go and move on.
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 130
A Song of Ascents.
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my supplications! 3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with you,
so that you may be revered.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
6 my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
and with him is great power to redeem.
8 It is he who will redeem Israel
from all its iniquities.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May God give me gentleness, patience, and determination with myself and all others. Amen.
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Setting aside “should” One of the things that can get in the way of forgiveness is all our shoulds — working in both directions. “I should forgive him” is a far cry from “I do forgive him.” The former is a voice from outside our true self, however deeply internalized it may be. Often that external voice is connected to religion, “If I call myself a Christian I ought to be able to forgive.” The latter, I do forgive, can only come from our truest, fullest selves — from the place where we know our own weakness is recognized and accepted, where we are touched by the unconditional love of the divine. “I should forgive” doesn’t get us anywhere. “I do forgive” recognizes an arrival (at least at a waystation — the journey is a lifetime.)
And in the other direction, “She should admit how wrong she was and apologize” is another way of keeping forgiveness at arm’s length, conditioning it on something or someone outside ourselves.
Forgiveness is a process. Dwelling in thoughts about what we or anyone else should do keeps us in one place, not stepping out on the journey toward forgiveness. Forgiveness is also a practice. We need to be gentle with ourselves as we learn to forgive.
Call to Mind what it feels like to be stuck, to go over and over the same thoughts, to believe something is wrong with someone — wrong with yourself or wrong with someone else.
Imagine the stuckness is a room you are in. Go to the door, open it, and step out onto the path there. (If the door is blocked, locked, or guarded, slip out the window!) Take the first few steps along the path.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? If this exercise helped you, bask in it just a moment more. If not, let it go and move on.
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 130
A Song of Ascents.
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my supplications! 3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with you,
so that you may be revered.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
6 my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
and with him is great power to redeem.
8 It is he who will redeem Israel
from all its iniquities.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May God give me gentleness, patience, and determination with myself and all others. Amen.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Forgiveness is Hard
(this is the second in a series of Lenten Meditation on forgiveness — for background, resources, and an approach to using these meditations, please check the About the Meditations page)
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Forgiveness is Hard: In their books Healing Life’s Hurts and Don’t Forgive Too Soon Dennis, Sheila, and Matthew Linn present forgiveness as a grief process, with all the stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Real forgiveness is both a grace and a work of faith. It’s much more than a quick, unfelt apology that leaves nothing resolved.
Where forgiveness is needed, something has been lost: peace of mind, sense of self-worth, trust, perhaps even a life. We grieve losses. It is our human way of coming to terms with changed realities, rebuilding what we can and embracing new creation. It’s a process we all are capable of, given the support of community (friends, family, church…) and a willingness to take it a step at a time.
When we have been deeply hurt, it’s hard to imagine real forgiveness. The hole that has been ripped into our being is too raw and painful, so painful we may even hide it from ourselves, denying our loss. When we do look at our hurt, anger is a normal feeling, and that doesn’t seem to move us toward forgiving — but it is there and must be acknowledged. The “if only” thoughts of bargaining don’t get us to unconditional love, but “I’ll forgive you if …” may be a step toward understanding our real needs. Perhaps we’ll feel depressed thinking we can do nothing to meet those needs. None of this looks very promising when you’re in the midst of it, but it is all normal and necessary and it does build the foundation for acceptance and freedom for creative responses. It’s a process. We can come through to forgiveness as we lean on our community, trust the process, do our work and let God work in us.
Call to Mind a time when something new and amazing came into your life: a clear recognition of your passion, a new love, a child adopted or born, an acceptance of being forgiven. Savor that memory. Let it rise up and feel it again as well as you are able in this moment.
Imagine that feeling is a warm quilt, full of the love of many hands that created it. If you have a cold place, a hurt that is shutting down some part of your being, wrap it in that quilt. Bundle it up. Hold it, not trying to fix anything, just being with the hurt and need and trusting that renewal and new creation will come.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? If this exercise helped you, bask in it just a moment more. If not, let it go and move on.
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 124
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
1 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side
—let Israel now say—
2 if it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
when our enemies attacked us,
3 then they would have swallowed us up alive,
when their anger was kindled against us;
4 then the flood would have swept us away,
the torrent would have gone over us;
5 then over us would have gone
the raging waters.
6 Blessed be the Lord,
who has not given us
as prey to their teeth.
7 We have escaped like a bird
from the snare of the fowlers;
the snare is broken,
and we have escaped.
8 Our help is in the name of the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May I receive the love and strength of community as I live each day’s trials and joys. Amen.
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Forgiveness is Hard: In their books Healing Life’s Hurts and Don’t Forgive Too Soon Dennis, Sheila, and Matthew Linn present forgiveness as a grief process, with all the stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Real forgiveness is both a grace and a work of faith. It’s much more than a quick, unfelt apology that leaves nothing resolved.
Where forgiveness is needed, something has been lost: peace of mind, sense of self-worth, trust, perhaps even a life. We grieve losses. It is our human way of coming to terms with changed realities, rebuilding what we can and embracing new creation. It’s a process we all are capable of, given the support of community (friends, family, church…) and a willingness to take it a step at a time.
When we have been deeply hurt, it’s hard to imagine real forgiveness. The hole that has been ripped into our being is too raw and painful, so painful we may even hide it from ourselves, denying our loss. When we do look at our hurt, anger is a normal feeling, and that doesn’t seem to move us toward forgiving — but it is there and must be acknowledged. The “if only” thoughts of bargaining don’t get us to unconditional love, but “I’ll forgive you if …” may be a step toward understanding our real needs. Perhaps we’ll feel depressed thinking we can do nothing to meet those needs. None of this looks very promising when you’re in the midst of it, but it is all normal and necessary and it does build the foundation for acceptance and freedom for creative responses. It’s a process. We can come through to forgiveness as we lean on our community, trust the process, do our work and let God work in us.
Call to Mind a time when something new and amazing came into your life: a clear recognition of your passion, a new love, a child adopted or born, an acceptance of being forgiven. Savor that memory. Let it rise up and feel it again as well as you are able in this moment.
Imagine that feeling is a warm quilt, full of the love of many hands that created it. If you have a cold place, a hurt that is shutting down some part of your being, wrap it in that quilt. Bundle it up. Hold it, not trying to fix anything, just being with the hurt and need and trusting that renewal and new creation will come.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? If this exercise helped you, bask in it just a moment more. If not, let it go and move on.
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 124
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
1 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side
—let Israel now say—
2 if it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
when our enemies attacked us,
3 then they would have swallowed us up alive,
when their anger was kindled against us;
4 then the flood would have swept us away,
the torrent would have gone over us;
5 then over us would have gone
the raging waters.
6 Blessed be the Lord,
who has not given us
as prey to their teeth.
7 We have escaped like a bird
from the snare of the fowlers;
the snare is broken,
and we have escaped.
8 Our help is in the name of the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May I receive the love and strength of community as I live each day’s trials and joys. Amen.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Two Hands
(this is one in a series of weekly Lenten Meditations on forgiveness — for background, resources, and an approach to using these meditations, please check the About the Meditations page)
Prayer
Patient, compassionate God, open to me the heart of forgiveness. Fire in me the courage to see honestly my true needs and those of others. Inspire in me creative responses that claim and champion our shared humanity. Give me grace to forgive and to accept forgiveness.
Meditation
Two Hands: Forgiveness is the immune system of the soul. Just as we all get sick — it’s just part of living — so we all need to forgive and be forgiven — it’s just part of living. The immune system targets the enemies of our health: bacteria, viruses. But when it’s confused it targets our own wellness and destroys what it should protect. Forgiveness targets the enemies of our soul’s well being: shame, violence, bitterness… But it too can become backward, a soul-crippling doormat reflex that denies the full humanity of both the one wronged and the one who has offended.
Healthy forgiveness never denies anyone’s humanity. The viruses it attacks are not other people but the falsehoods and power imbalances that hurt and oppress. Barbara Deming writes that
… nonviolence gives us two hands upon the oppressor — ‘one hand taking from him what is not his due, the other slowly calming him as we do this.’
This is the healing power of forgiveness. It takes away the deepest power of shaming, physical violence, betrayal. And it is non-violent; it’s the opposite of getting even. Its power to disarm rests in recognizing everyone’s full human dignity—one’s own and also the full human dignity of all others: those who have wronged you, those you yourself have wronged. It is a profoundly spiritual practice.
Call to Mind a time when you have felt closest to God, completely loved, centered in a deep peace. Savor that memory. Let it rise up and feel it again as well as you are able in this moment.
Imagine sending that well being out to someone you are not at peace with. Maybe not the worst person in your life just now — forgiveness is a practice and we don’t make our first run a marathon — just someone that it’s not easy to love. Imagine yourself wanting peace and love and trust for that person.
Check-in with your feelings. Are you relaxed, or clenched up? What thoughts arise? Are you able to keep, or reestablish touch with your peaceful, beloved center?
Gratitude, Hopes, Prayers: Reflect a moment, maybe even write down: what are you grateful for, right now? what hopes rise up in you? do you have a prayer you would offer to God?
Psalm 123
A Song of Ascents.
To you I lift up my eyes,
O you who are enthroned in the heavens!
2 As the eyes of servants
look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maid
to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the Lord our God,
until he has mercy upon us.
3 Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
3 Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
for we have had more than enough of contempt.
4 Our soul has had more than its fill
of the scorn of those who are at ease,
of the contempt of the proud.
Benediction Prayer
May I know, again and again and always, that God loves me. May I grow in trust in God’s peace that passes all understanding. May God strengthen my two hands and be known in my touch. Amen.
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